Does your family celebrate Halloween?

Do you dress up? What are you going to be?

What are your kids going to be?

Do you have any adorable pictures to share with us?

Yes, we celebrate Halloween. Heck why not? It’s just fun and dressing up for the kids is exciting. They love getting candy and seeing all their friend and our neighbors.

I do not dress up. I haven’t in a long time. My children are Darth Vader and the most precious black cat (that has been a black cat at least twice before now!)

I, of course have an adorable photograph to share!!

On January 10, 1993 my father passed away. On October 26, 2002, my mother married her boyfriend of 8 years. She met Ed in 1994. They were such close friends, I don’t think any of us were sure what would happen. However, I am pleased to say that they have celebrated 11 years together now - and been married 3 years today.

I was honored to have been chosen to give a speech/toast at the wedding. You see, my mother knows I have a gifted tongue - and she knew I’d say the right things, but to actually choose me, to get up in front of all these people and say what I had to say, well …. it was a miracle. She doesn’t always trust EVERTHING that’s beautiful that comes out of my mouth LOL So in honor of their third wedding Anniversary, I thank her for allowing me to give the speech, and sharing it with you.

A Wedding Toast To My Mom & Ed

Before beginning, I’d like to offer my sincerest gratitude to Mimi & Ed for allowing me to be part of this special occasion. Also, I would like to say thank you to my brother, and my sisters for all that each of you has done to make this the special day that it is. Adn of course, my gratitude to each and every guest who has joined us here - thank you for all of your support and all that you’ve done to make this, by all accounts, the perfect day.

In our lifetimes, we are not always given a second chance at perfect love. In fact, it is so rare that often it is impossible. A son that plays frequently on my radio reminds me of how untrue the proceeding statement is. As the singer sings about tragedy and love, and perserverance, he repeats “I have learned, to never underestimate, the impossible.” Ed and Mimi have shown every individual here, how nothing is impossible.

In time, two lonely hearts, found each other. They have known love before, and yet still… love each other unconditionally. I have watched as they have loved each other, supported each other, cared for each other, respected each other and lived through even the tough times. This is, as I call it, a perfect love.

What is a perfect love? It is most certainly what I see in Ed and Mimi’s eyes today. It is a perfect moment when you look into the eyes of the most loving, caring, giving individual that you’ve ever known and realize you’ve found true love, a second time.

A moment like this, and the commmitment which follows should be celebrated to it’s fullest. And so, I contend to all those present that it our duty to ensure that this moment in the lives of Mimi and Ed, does not pass unrecognized.

It is with great pleasure that I say “Congratulations” to Mimi and Ed… may you share a second lifetime of love and happiness.

Everybody please raise your glass, and repeat after me …. FINALLY!!! … Here’s to Mimi and Ed.

Note: Of course I only made it through half of it before I broke into tears and the rest came out in between super huge breaths. LOL Actually it sounded wonderful and I was complimented by many and it felt good. It’s amazing what you can write when you FEEL strongly about it.

Now, where’s my second time?

Originally written: October 2004 - moved from old posts to this server, October 2005.  

Have you ever just met someone, and felt this connection, like you two were destined to meet?

That happened to me a few days ago!

This guy (the brother of my new neighbor) stopped by a garage sale we were having and hung out with us for a couple of hours. Man I couldn’t get enough of him. My friend tried to hook him up with this girl that was with us - holy crap she was beautiful and I couldn’t compete with *THAT*, not to mention that I’m taken at the moment.

Although the jealousy monster reared it’s head, the best part is that he really didn’t seem interested in her, though I couldn’t be sure. I know his sister didn’t like her! LOL Is that hope for me? What is the matter with me? Can you tell how bad my relationship has gotten?

I hung on every word he said - I guess he’s a cop because he gave my friend trouble about being drunk and then tested her. (All in fun of course!) My friend didn’t think it was funny, but then she doesn’t think many things are funny I guess.

We got in a fight that night too, all over MY feelings about this guy! And I didn’t even tell her I was into him. She just could tell, and she wants me to figure out my life before I move to a new relationship - and I get that.  But she was bad mouthing him a little and well yes, I got defensive.

I always swore I’d never date a cop. And who am I kidding? I’m already taken. Really I think I am just trying to remind myself, so I don’t forget. But then last night, I was lying there thinking about where my life is headed. Am I staying in this hopeless relationship, hoping that at some point, I wake up, and say - yep this is it. Because it ain’t gonna happen!  So could this cop be the perfect mate?

I’m actually glad I didn’t find out he was a cop until AFTER I was into him, only because I am not sure I would have been in love with the idea of truly dating a cop. Who am I kidding? DATE???? LOL He doesn’t even know I’m alive!!! But I know he is. I’ve seen him twice since then, because he visits his sister occasionally, and I just sit here at my computer and watch him through the window. How pathetic is that? I’m supposed to be working, not dreaming about my neighbors brother.

I get butterflies just staring at him. He’s so damn PERFECT. Of course in fairness I don’t know him that well, but I liked what I saw, and what I heard. Good sense of humor, sarcastic, attractive, gentle, kind, sweet and oh I could go on and on. But since he doesn’t know I’m alive, I guess I won’t. LOL That’s ok, you know how in elementary school when someone picks on someone else it usually means they really like them? Well he was picking on my friend the whole night (now mind you she’s married) but I really think he was into her. My loss I guess. Oh well. Like I mentioned, he doesn’t even know I’m alive!

Well, the good news is always better first, and I have two pieces - so here they are. 1st:  I wound up getting two more pieces published - yep for big $$. I’m in print - under a pseudoname, however I am in print!! Woohoo!! A couple of you know where, and I’m interested in how many of you will be able to “spot” it if you see it.

Let me know if you figure it out. I’ll be posting the two articles eventually. 

2nd good news: I am definitely moving out. I have already begun packing, and we have tentatively talked about accepting a room-mate to take over one of the bedrooms upstairs. YAY!! It will be awhile, and I just started a new job working outside the home, and my two kiddo’s and I have to find the perfect place to live, but yay! It’s at least starting to roll.

The only bad news - crazy cop is ticked at me. I don’t understand him at all. He acts as if he doesn’t care about me, we’re just friends, and then he gets mad at certain things. I wound up going to dinner with my room-mate, mostly so we could talk and essentially I guess I got “caught”. Or at least that is what crazy cop made it sound like. He got angry and told me he didn’t like it and it bothered him and well, honestly I can see why. He knows all of the history between the room-mate and I and the things that he has done, but geez, we aren’t dating. It isn’t like it was a dinner date, or like I was considering staying. In fact, I am single. SINGLE. Of course, I should probably tell him how much it bothers me when he tells me that GIRL is always showing up at his place. UGH! She drives me nuts, and he acts so strange about her. Sometimes I wonder what is truly going on. But I love him dearly, and don’t want to lose his friendship, and who knows what could happen once I’ve completely moved on. Interesting concept. Too bad he doesn’t “get it” - and most likely never will.

Regardless, to make this a smooth transition for all parties involved, there has to be some talking, and planning and dinners, and while I do not love the room-mate, I do care about him. I don’t want him to be left standing in the rain, with nothing. I am not a cold-hearted bitch, but I guess crazy cop thinks I should be!

What Would You Do? Spend? Save? Charity? Cars? Houses? College? Business’?

So dream a little!

Well, first it would be a miracle if I won the lottery (since I don’t play LOL) - but if I DID win $$ - yes it would depend on the amount, but I would definitely tithe my baby church so they could get their building off the ground! Then I would buy myself a new Mini Van (I love my explorer but it’s not enough room). Then I would invest the rest and shop with the monthly payments LOL So I wouldn’t be likely to go as crazy as I might if I didn’t invest it! LOL I’d definitely join a few more business’ to keep my busy and well, just enjoy life at that point.

Ah…to dream!

For anyone who used to read my old blogs, you know the strange situation I am in. Well, I made the decision to get out of this nutty relationship/room-mate situation I am in. It is just unhealthy for both of us. After the dozens of inappropriate things he has done, the fact that we don’t even talk anymore, and we live completely separate lives, I just know - it’s time to say goodbye.

Thankfully I have a lot of support around me, and it’s just a matter of time before it all happens. I tried to talk to him again, but he only here’s portions of what I say. He is convinced it is me.

Sure, it has nothing to do with the fact that you never bathe, you don’t take care of yourself, you trash the house and never pick anything up, you go out at 10:00pm because that is when your nutty friends go out, and you think that it is okay to come home at 4:30am, and then sleep all day, because that is what your nutty friends do.

Well, your nutty friends don’t live with me. You do. I have two children and I am a parent. Period. It was my choice to be a parent, in fact, it was my choice to be a single parent, and I was doing pretty good before you came along. Now I feel as if I have three children. That sucks!

So, how many votes do I have for “It’s Time to Say Goodbye?”.

All I need is one, and it’s mine!

I absolutely love to write. I’ve been writing ever since I could. I remember as a child, writing stories, poems, letters. In fact, every holiday or birthday, I think my gift consisted of some written word (some completely unintelligible blabber) but nonetheless, I was writing.

I’d have to say the most I write is typically poetry, but certainly not because that’s the way I want it. But it’s always been an outlet for me. I guess it’s a way to get the thoughts and feelings out, without necessarily sharing them with anyone. I often share my poetry with others, however have of late, shied away from it somewhat. Again, not necessarily because I don’t want to share, but my standards of whom I share with have raised slightly.

Lately I’ve been writing a lot. Mostly articles, however I’ve also had some fun with blogs (I have four); and poetry of course. I began freelance writing back in 1995, and was published a few times. A couple of anthologies picked me up and published me (a great honor), as well as the one really nice thing I will always remember my ex husband for. He bragged about a poem I had written about the Oklahoma City Bombing and wound up getting it published for me. It was an honor to see my work in print, and really felt good. Again, this was back in 1995. Now it’s 2005 and I am still trudging along.

So many people have told me in my life, that I should be a writer. I know my mother has supported me from the very start. I remember my high school English teacher telling me I “had what it took”. Why didn’t I ever listen? I find myself 32 years old and not living out my dream.

I’ve contemplated why. Trying to discover within myself, what stops me, why I start and stop something in a heartbeat. Is it because of rejection? Is it because I am sharing a piece of my soul, I might otherwise have left untouched? Do I feel I am not good enough? Do I not have enough support? Have I not prayed enough about it. Honestly I guess I’ve thought on all those things, and really, praying is the only answer.

The paths I’ve taken over the years, have almost always directly, or indirectly led me to write in some form. Not that I’m complaining since I love to write and probably type upwards of 80 wpm. But I am not interested in typing up someone’s papers; I am really not interested in newsletters and journal types.  Really, I just want to write – you know – some earth shattering, soul bearing article and a whole series of novels.

I know in time it will come. It’s about the faith. And I have it. As I close my eyes each night, I will remember to ask God for direction down this path I want to take. I will ask that He take my hand and lead me in the right direction. And I will know, that if I am meant to be a writer, I will be.

A song I wrote awhile back….still chills me when I read it.

~Fulfillin’ My Dreams~

It’s 4′o clock in the morning,
and I’m lying here awake.
Thinkin’ ’bout you,
and my heart starts to ache.

It’s simple really, the way I feel,
though I try so hard to hide.
Behind a wall that’s crumbling down,
as I’m still trying to decide.

How much to let you know I feel,
and how my heart is true.
The way you make me yearn inside,
in everything you do.

Chorus:
So I wish on every star,
and I dream of what could be.
For what the future holds in store,
For only you and me.
Time is the answer,
and true as it seems.
You’re the one who makes my heart ache,
and fulfills all my dreams.

Yearning for your touch,
that seems to set me free.
Feelin’ things I haven’t felt,
in time’s eternity.

Funny, you don’t know it yet,
how wonderful you are.
and I cannot help but wonder,
if I’m taking it too far.

It doesn’t really matter,
’cause I can continue to deny.
But then I’m left here standing,
and asking myself why?

Chorus:
So I wish on every star,
and I dream of what could be.
For what the future holds in store,
For only you and me.
Time is the answer,
and true as it seems.
You’re the one who makes my heart ache,
and fulfills all my dreams.

I cannot let you know,
exactly what I desire.
Does it make me weak?
Does it make me wrong?
Does it make me just a liar?

Or does being true to the woman within,
Make me stronger and more secure?
In what is us, and what could be,
Sadly I just cannot be sure.

Chorus:
So I wish on every star,
and I dream of what could be.
For what the future holds in store,
For only you and me.
Time is the answer,
and true as it seems.
You’re the one who makes my heart ache,
and fulfills all my dreams.

So soon my heart will open,
and I’ll lay it on the line.
And I hope I’ll know your hearts intentions,
and you will understand mine.

Chorus:
But until then….
I wish on every star, (that shines)
and I’ll dream of what could be.
And I’ll wonder what the future holds,
in store, for you and me. (what can be?)
I know that time’s the answer,
And I know the truth it seems.
You’ll always be the man I need,
to fulfill all of my dreams.

Copyright © 2005 Imagination Station
Copyright © 2005 Scribbles ‘N Scraps
Copyright © 2005 Nicole Humphrey

Just the start of a song I am writing….. unfortunately it has been un-finished for a VERY long time - guess I should get back to it. I’ll update when it’s done!

Stepping Back

Take a look in my direction,
I’m holding back inside.
Not ready to release it all,
Still rolling like the tide.

I wish that I could tell you,
that time will make it right.
but I cannot say the words,
as I lay in your arms tonight.

Chorus:
So I’m steppin’ back, and I’m movin’ on.
Taking every turn, hoping it’s not wrong.
And I’ve made my choice and I’ve locked my heart,
And I’ll make my move, though I never start.
And it seem to me, that it’s hard to be..
Steppin’ Back in time, and to really see.
The way I feel, through clearer eyes,
Holding it all back, ’till I realize.
That I’m steppin’ back, and I see it all,
’cause it’s plain to see, that I’m startin’ to fall.
So I move ahead, taking three steps back,
making a move, to review the facts.
And I’m steppin’ back. (to you).

unfinished
Copyright © 2005 Imagination Station
Copyright © 2005 Scribbles ‘N Scraps
Copyright © 2005 Nicole Humphrey