Too funny not to share!

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

‘1′
Blaming your farts on me…..
not funny… not funny at all !!!

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‘2′
Yelling at me for barking.
I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG

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‘3′
Taking me for a walk, then
not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

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‘4′
Any trick that involves balancing
food on my nose. Stop it!

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‘5′
Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
Now you know why we chew your stuff
up when you’re not home.

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‘6′
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what
a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

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‘7′
Taking me to the vet for “the big snip”,
then acting surprised when I freak
out every time we go back!

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‘8′
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

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‘9′
Dog sweaters. Hello ???
Haven’t you noticed the fur?

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‘10′
How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth. You’re just jealous.

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Now lay off me on some of these things.
We both know who’s boss here!
You don’t see me picking up your poop do you? 

I saw this about a year ago and it just wound back up in my email box again. It makes me laugh every single time I see it. If you haven’t seen it, that is ONE BRAVE bunny!! hehehe

Oh and if you are looking for my SATURDAY PHOTO HUNTERS - skip the post after this one and its right below that one! Have a great Saturday!

The stickman videos that help advertise Kettering University are so funny. They are incredibly creative and were obviously created by some very talented people.

I think my favorite one is this one, but it was truly hard to pick a favorite (in fact there are TWO that are my favorites), because they are all honestly very funny, and creative.

I love that they are targeting the true audience they are interested in. No boring college commercials with pretty pictures of the campus, people looking engrossed in studying and to be completely honest, boring pictures and music. This is far more fun to get these kids interested in college! My kids thought the videos were fantastic and they didn’t get bored watching them at all.

There are a few others that are totally worth taking a look. Plus if you have a college bound kiddo, be sure and have them with you, because they are awesome. Kettering University is awesome anyway.

It is important to mention that Kettering isn’t all about silly comedy videos to encourage enrollment. The US News and World Report has ranked Kettering University as “the #1 University in the nation for Industrial and Manufacturing Engineering” in its annual “America’s Best Colleges Guide for 2008″. Read about the US News Best Colleges, and learn about how great Kettering is. It is pretty incredible that they received this rank and gives me a lot of confidence in this educational institution.

There is a wide variety of course of study at Kettering University, from Business Management to several different types of Engineering, example: mechanical engineering, there is truly something for everyone.

In this day and age, a good education is the key to a good future. Start planning now and check out Kettering University.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out’?

Who was the first one who thought that the white thing that came from a hen’s butt looked edible?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Why ARE Trix only for kids?

Why is a person that handles your money called a ‘Broker’?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (wiping coffee off the laptop screen at that one)

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window.

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

NOTHING IS FUNNIER THAN THE TRUTH.

1. Only in America….
Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America……
are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America……
do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America……
do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke. (okay I do this but has anyone considered that I prefer the TASTE of diet coke over regular? Huhlo!)

5. Only in America……
do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America……
do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America……
do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America……
do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America……
do we use the word politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.

10. Only in America……
do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. On Sears hairdryer: ‘Do not use while sleeping’.
[Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair]

2. On a bag of Fritos: ‘You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside’.
[Evidently, the shoplifter special]

3. On a bar of Dial soap: ‘Directions: Use like regular soap.’
[And that would be how...?]

4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: ‘Serving suggestions: Defrost.’
[But it's *just* a suggestion]

5. On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): ‘Do not turn upside down’.
[Oops, too late!]

6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: ‘Product will be hot after heating’.
[As sure as night follows the day . .. ..]

7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: ‘Do not iron clothes on body’.
[But wouldn't this save even more time?]

8. On Boot’s Children’s Cough Medicine: ‘Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication’.
[We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those
forklifts.]

9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: ‘Warning: May cause drowsiness’ …
[One would hope]

10. On most brands of Christmas lights: ‘For indoor or outdoor use only’. …
[As opposed to what?]

11. On a Japanese food processor: ‘Not to be used for the other use’.
[I gotta admit, I'm curious].

12. On Sainsbury’s peanuts: ‘Warning: Contains nuts’.
[NEWS FLASH]

13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: ‘Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.’
[Step 3: Fly another airline]

14. On a child’s Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly’.
[I don't blame the company. I do blame parents for this one!]

Really, it WAS rated PG, but after this it is pretty darn close to maybe NC-17. LOL

Too funny not to share though!

Did you know…..

(Hardly seems worth it.)

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If you passed gas consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas
is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that’s more like it!)

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The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to
squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)

(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

(Creepy.) (I’m still not over the pig.)

(Do not try this at home…maybe at work.)

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The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached
to its body.  The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off.

(’Honey, I’m home.  What the….?!’

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The flea can jump 350 times its body length.  It’s like a human jumping the
length of a football field.

(30 minutes…can you imagine??)

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The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

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Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life…quality over quantity.)

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Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I never wanted to know.)

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Elephants are the only animal that cannot jump.

(OK, so that would be a good thing….)

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A cat’s urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

(I know some people like that.)

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Starfish have no brains.

(I know some people like that too.)

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Polar bears are left-handed.

(Who knew?  Who cares!)

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Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)